Learn to Gracefully Take Criticism

I’ve always wanted to have grace, especially under pressure. I want to be a person that can keep a cool head and glide through stressful situations and criticism. As a clumsy child, teenager, and now adult, physical grace has never been a descriptor for me. I bumble in heels, occasionally misbutton my sweater and often spill drinks.

Despite these circumstances, I thought I might be able to achieve grace in my workplace manners. But, it’s not that easy, especially when cold, harsh criticism is being hurled at you from all sides.

There isn’t a particular instance that sticks out in my mind more than others, but it seems that some days I can’t get anything right and it just so happens to be the days everyone’s paying attention. So, when the criticisms come my way, I want to be able to slap a charming smile on my face and get through it, becoming an infinitely better researcher/writer/editor/employee. Instead, while they’re saying “This document doesn’t really highlight the proper expertise and is off-case. Why is this even on here?” I might be on the verge of tears and dying to crawl under my desk, because all I hear is “You suck, you suck, you really suck.” My efforts of achieving my workplace confidence have clearly not come to fruition.

Grace in the face of criticism is hard. Why? Because sometimes people forget that you have feelings, or worse, they just don’t care.

But, how you react to this criticism says a lot about who you are, and I certainly don’t want to be the girl under my desk. So, how do you learn to take criticism with grace, even when it’s everything but constructive?

• Avoid getting defensive. The worst thing you can do is start rattling off excuses why the assignment wasn’t done correctly/on time/etc. But in the end, your excuses don’t matter and immediately jumping on the defense leaves a bad impression.
• Don’t get caught up in the blame game. This goes hand-in-hand with not getting defensive. Even if it was your colleagues fault, that’s a lesson for you to learn and take with you, but blaming others draws attention to your own insecurities.
• Figure out how to walk the thin lines. So, Manager A likes green, square bullet points, but Manager B doesn’t and Manager C prefers no bullet points at all. There’s got to be a way to navigate nuances and come up with something that appeases everyone, even if you don’t quite understand the issues. At the very least, there has got to be a way to compromise and you need to find it, or at least offer to give it a try.
• Grin and bear it. When people have bad days, that negative energy sometimes gets directed at the wrong people, and it could easily be you. Receiving the brunt of someone’s rage about a project isn’t fun, but sometimes it’s better to just deal than have any reaction at all. File away the comments for later, but try to forget the passive aggressive hits.

I doubt I’ll ever be an expert in high heels or stop spilling things on my clothes, but I think if I keep these tips in mind I’ll at least be able to handle criticism with grace.

-Rachel

The Age/Life/Responsibility Balance

Since turning 23 a month ago I’ve been having trouble accepting my new life in the “real world.”

I guess you could say I’m going through a quarter-life crisis.

Unlike most 20-somethings transitioning from college to the “real world” my troubles don’t lie in finding a fulfilling job or finding a job in general for that matter.

My crisis lies more so in that I am confused about my new identity (i.e. I feel like an 18 year old stuck in the life of a 23 year old with a job and bills to pay).

I didn’t think it would be such a difference — it’s not like a mid-life crisis for a 40 year old, but who knew I would be trading in my usual Thursday night bar crawl for laundry and doctors’ appointments after graduation.

I knew there would be more responsibilities, but where’s the fun and spontaneity of a random night out? Will this feeling ever fade as will my actual life only to be remembered through pictures?

In my attempt to maintain the fun that was my life and the responsibility that now encompasses it, I’ve set goals for myself to create my own age/life/responsibility balance:

1. Go out at least once a week. Whether it’s coffee with a colleague or drinks with a friend, a night out is a night out whether it’s random or planned.

2. Join Groups. A big part of my college life was the organizations I belonged to. Not only were there meetings and events to attend, but there was also the friends I made and the identity I created for myself. And, honestly, I’ve always wanted to be in a book club and to learn how to salsa.

3. Do something silly everyday.Whether it’s sending my friends embarrassing someecards or reading funny sites like Stuff White People Like and The Onion it’s necessary to keep a little fun in your day-to-day.

Making a conscious effort to not take life so seriously, while putting time in at your nine-to-five will keep you sane. Everyone needs a little spontaneity to liven the 18 year old every once in a while.

-Aida

The Incredibles

What a great movie and a great idea.

Seemingly ordinary people can do amazing things.

Her’s the thing though, YOU, that’s right you, can be incredible too.

And it doesn’t take Pixar’s dedicated animation team to turn that into a reality.

Recently, Derek Halpern, a fellow Brazen Careerist, and I started a conversation about his post “How to be Incredible”.

I think this topic is great because it’s something we can all relate to. We would all be lying if we were to say, “No, I don’t want to be incredible, feel incredible, etc.”

The big idea is to keep YOU in mind.

Before starting anywhere else, think of your personal definition of incredible. What does being incredible mean to you? When was the last time I felt “incredible”? Jot down your thoughts and feelings to get a better understanding.

Follow Derek’s tips. Create your own. In the end though, what matters is what you want to achieve.

You may create a great set of goals, action plan and rally up the troops, but if you aren’t 100 percent ready to change your life and make it incredible, it won’t happen – trust me.

As Mirage, a character in the Incredbiles said to Mr. Incredible, “The supers are not gone, Mr. Incredible. You’re still here. You can still do great things. Or…you can listen to police scanners. Your choice.”

YOU can still do great things. You can be incredible. Or…you don’t have too. It’s your choice.

-Aida