Learn to Gracefully Take Criticism

I’ve always wanted to have grace, especially under pressure. I want to be a person that can keep a cool head and glide through stressful situations and criticism. As a clumsy child, teenager, and now adult, physical grace has never been a descriptor for me. I bumble in heels, occasionally misbutton my sweater and often spill drinks.

Despite these circumstances, I thought I might be able to achieve grace in my workplace manners. But, it’s not that easy, especially when cold, harsh criticism is being hurled at you from all sides.

There isn’t a particular instance that sticks out in my mind more than others, but it seems that some days I can’t get anything right and it just so happens to be the days everyone’s paying attention. So, when the criticisms come my way, I want to be able to slap a charming smile on my face and get through it, becoming an infinitely better researcher/writer/editor/employee. Instead, while they’re saying “This document doesn’t really highlight the proper expertise and is off-case. Why is this even on here?” I might be on the verge of tears and dying to crawl under my desk, because all I hear is “You suck, you suck, you really suck.” My efforts of achieving my workplace confidence have clearly not come to fruition.

Grace in the face of criticism is hard. Why? Because sometimes people forget that you have feelings, or worse, they just don’t care.

But, how you react to this criticism says a lot about who you are, and I certainly don’t want to be the girl under my desk. So, how do you learn to take criticism with grace, even when it’s everything but constructive?

• Avoid getting defensive. The worst thing you can do is start rattling off excuses why the assignment wasn’t done correctly/on time/etc. But in the end, your excuses don’t matter and immediately jumping on the defense leaves a bad impression.
• Don’t get caught up in the blame game. This goes hand-in-hand with not getting defensive. Even if it was your colleagues fault, that’s a lesson for you to learn and take with you, but blaming others draws attention to your own insecurities.
• Figure out how to walk the thin lines. So, Manager A likes green, square bullet points, but Manager B doesn’t and Manager C prefers no bullet points at all. There’s got to be a way to navigate nuances and come up with something that appeases everyone, even if you don’t quite understand the issues. At the very least, there has got to be a way to compromise and you need to find it, or at least offer to give it a try.
• Grin and bear it. When people have bad days, that negative energy sometimes gets directed at the wrong people, and it could easily be you. Receiving the brunt of someone’s rage about a project isn’t fun, but sometimes it’s better to just deal than have any reaction at all. File away the comments for later, but try to forget the passive aggressive hits.

I doubt I’ll ever be an expert in high heels or stop spilling things on my clothes, but I think if I keep these tips in mind I’ll at least be able to handle criticism with grace.

-Rachel

Four Tips to Perfecting E-mail Etiquette

We Millennials bounded out of the womb with a laptop and IPod in each hand and a Bluetooth in our ear. We check our Gmail accounts religiously via our Blackberrys and frequently use the term “tweet” in everyday conversations.

We are synonymous with technology.

So it doesn’t surprise me that when it comes to etiquette a lot of us aren’t as responsible when using this technology as we should be and as newbies in the workplace that can be a big disadvantage.

The following is a list of suggestions to help you successfully navigate through a seemingly second-nature task while making the right impression on your new co-workers.

1. Frequency–even though sending an IM to your roommate who is five feet down the hall is normal communication behavior for most of us, it can hinder our ability to meet new colleagues and build bridges to effective work relationships. Make it a point to deliver at least one face-to-face message a day, or at the very least use the phone for quick notes or questions. Relying on e-mail for every little thing is annoying–don’t be that kid.

2. Content–learning the typical protocol for communication in your office is key. You have to learn what’s professional vs. what’s personal and tailor your notes accordingly. Also stray away from jargon unless absolutely neccessary to keep messages clear and clean in case anyone outside your immediate circle is copied.

3. Grammar and Spelling–two words: spell check. This is absolutely the easiest thing you can do. Make sure your messages are free of punctuation and grammar errors too. Nothing labels you faster in my mind than by misusing the word “their” for “there.” And please learn contractions–”your” does not mean “you are” or subsequently “you’re.” Seriously people.

4. Streamline–pleasantries are nice but don’t play them out. Keep subject lines to the point, for example I try to tag on a deadline after the question or project note. Typing in “answer needed by ___” with a specific date gives people a to-do item and not just another email to respond to. Simplifying word choice by using the most appropriate language keeps your email succinct and avoids annoyingly unnecessary and superfluous banter. Don’t use five words when two will do. 

These four points are my personal pet peeves but there are a ton more e-mail faux pas out there. What are your top e-mail blunders to avoid?

-Marilyn

I Shouldn’t Be in Grad School

I shouldn’t be in grad school.

Ok, technically I am in school. And I thought long and hard about my decision. The fact is, I never wanted to go.  I wanted to dive into the workforce from undergrad.  I wanted to head straight to New York City, into a corporate office, and work my way up to the top.

I have always been a hard-working, practical person. I was always the “planner” in my group of friends-organized and keenly aware of the people’s needs around me.

So I had a plan: New York. And no one gets in the way of a twenty something heading to New York.

Casually looking online during the summer of 2007, I found my current grad program. I couldn’t believe there was a curriculum that fit all of my needs for furthering my education- a hands-on program focusing on the global marketplace.

But I didn’t want to let it interfere with THE plan. New York. Big office. My vision of early twenty-something life.

But I couldn’t help it; I was drawn to the program web page every couple of days. I started to develop a passion for the program and for the opportunities, places and people I would meet. So, I worked really hard- I took the GREs twice, revised my resume countless times and spoke to every quasi professional about my options. Despite the attempts I made at convincing myself,  I was still scared about straying from my plan.

Then I realized-

Life is not a plan.

You make your own opportunities.

Do what you want to do.

Under one rule: Live with passion.

So, I shouldn’t be in grad school- according to my plan. But it’s ok, because I am loving it. I am learning so much, branding myself, my work, making contacts and lifelong friendships from people all around the world in a city that I would have never explored.

Plans are only in pencil, it’s ok to erase.

-Carla