The Age/Life/Responsibility Balance
November 6, 2008
Since turning 23 a month ago I’ve been having trouble accepting my new life in the “real world.”
I guess you could say I’m going through a quarter-life crisis.
Unlike most 20-somethings transitioning from college to the “real world” my troubles don’t lie in finding a fulfilling job or finding a job in general for that matter.
My crisis lies more so in that I am confused about my new identity (i.e. I feel like an 18 year old stuck in the life of a 23 year old with a job and bills to pay).
I didn’t think it would be such a difference — it’s not like a mid-life crisis for a 40 year old, but who knew I would be trading in my usual Thursday night bar crawl for laundry and doctors’ appointments after graduation.
I knew there would be more responsibilities, but where’s the fun and spontaneity of a random night out? Will this feeling ever fade as will my actual life only to be remembered through pictures?
In my attempt to maintain the fun that was my life and the responsibility that now encompasses it, I’ve set goals for myself to create my own age/life/responsibility balance:
1. Go out at least once a week. Whether it’s coffee with a colleague or drinks with a friend, a night out is a night out whether it’s random or planned.
2. Join Groups. A big part of my college life was the organizations I belonged to. Not only were there meetings and events to attend, but there was also the friends I made and the identity I created for myself. And, honestly, I’ve always wanted to be in a book club and to learn how to salsa.
3. Do something silly everyday.Whether it’s sending my friends embarrassing someecards or reading funny sites like Stuff White People Like and The Onion it’s necessary to keep a little fun in your day-to-day.
Making a conscious effort to not take life so seriously, while putting time in at your nine-to-five will keep you sane. Everyone needs a little spontaneity to liven the 18 year old every once in a while.
-Aida
Entry Filed under: Personal Development, The Working World. Tags: balance, life, quarter-life crisis, responsibilities.
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1.
Efrain | November 7, 2008 at 10:28 am
Great post and great point!
It’s always good to give oneself a self-assessment and ask if this is what you want in your life and if this is what you want to feel like.
Some of my favorite times are when I re-connect with the 18 year old in me.
2.
Andy Drish | November 9, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Aida – I hear what you’re saying. I just wrote about this same feeling as well. It’s weird… we had all this freedom in college. We did what we wanted, when we wanted.
Now that we’re in the “real world,” it’s like we’re back in elementary school. We’re told where to be, when to be there, and how to dress, etc. It just makes you think, “Is this what the next 40 years are going to be like?”
3.
Val | November 11, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Aida – Thank you for summarizing exactly how I’ve felt since I’ve graduated. It is definitely a tough time and quite an adjustment from college. Good suggestions for your goals, as well! I just might try a few…
4.
aidafazlic | November 13, 2008 at 4:21 am
Thank you all for the comments.
@ efrain – I really liked how you called it a self-assessment. LIke everything else in life where we get evaluated, school, work, etc. it’s important to step back every once in awhile and ask yourself, is this what I want?
@ Andy – In your post you wrote about this clean slate when we start college and it’s almost the same when we start our first real job, but it’s such a harder transition for all the reasons you mention. Sometimes the question you posed, “Is this what the next 40 years are going to be like?” hits me like a ton of bricks and I freak out. Maybe after six or nine months we’ll have a different, hopefully more optimistic stand.
@ Val – I’m really glad that I’m not the only one that doesn’t feel quite right with their life these days. Let me know if you try something different that works!
5.
Derek | November 29, 2008 at 8:53 pm
@Aida I totally understand where you’re coming from. The one thing I noticed that has really helped me achieve my goals is acting like myself – no matter who the audience is.
It doesn’t always work well in work, or in my writing, but I can go to sleep every night knowing I was being myself and no one else.
6.
aidafazlic | December 4, 2008 at 9:12 am
@ Derek – That’s good advice to just act like yourself – so regardless of what happens at least you know that you were being true to you.
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