Gaining my career confidence, or at least faking it

I’ve never been a particularly brave individual. Courageous and outgoing were adjectives I never sought after. I erred on the side of practicality. I often found a way to cope with insecurities, navigating carefully around them, rather than actually overcoming them.

In middle school and high school, this manifested itself in the form of best friends. These close and trusting relationships often became a shield more than anything else. I could appear totally aloof and unaffected – so long as I had someone to talk to.

In college, freedom of choice (in classes, activities, etc.) became my cover. If I didn’t want to go out on a limb, I didn’t have to. I once had a professor point out that I didn’t talk much in class, but I got some of the best grades. He said I was just “quietly excelling” – I liked the statement.

This isn’t saying I never pushed myself, or aspired to anything. Just that my aspirations are usually right within my comfort zone, perhaps a few inches outside of it.

I am well accustomed to having a safety net – sympathetic professors, caring parents, friends. But now, entering into my career, I can’t help but feel like I’m walking on a tightrope with nothing below to break my fall.

In the workplace, having a shield isn’t a personal protection, it’s a personal hindrance. I know what I should do, what I have to do, but I can’t actually bring myself to do it. Just ticking tasks off a list are not good enough, even if I tick them off efficiently and effectively.

So, taking some cues from “An Introvert’s Guide to Networking” (Parts 1 and 2) and Milena Thomas’ 30 days of courage told via Twitter, it’s time for me to find my inner career confidence and let it shine. Or fake it. Whichever comes first.  

I promise to,

• Try to believe “there are no stupid questions,” despite my belief that most of the questions I come up with are unnecessary.
• Send e-mails only second guessing my spelling, not obsessing over my word choice.
• Stop by at least one person’s office a day and strike up a casual conversation.
• Speak up in my meetings and offer my opinions.
• During said meetings, I will speak louder on conference calls so those on the other end can actually make out what I’m saying.
• Not dread networking events so much.
• Set goals for myself, and celebrate my success.

Has anyone else had a hard time finding yourself and your confidence in a new job? Any advice?

-Rachel